


You Get Me Out Of My Dreams

by skamdeg (hamilfish)



Category: SKAM (TV), SKAM (TV) RPF
Genre: Because of Reasons, Blow Jobs, Boy Squad, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Future Fic, M/M, Multi, Sloppy Makeouts, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-11-17 04:12:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11267700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hamilfish/pseuds/skamdeg
Summary: "You can't keep having things with guys because they look like him"Tarjei glances over at David, tossing him a beer. “I am not!”"Don't lie to me, we live together. I see the guys you bring home, they look like walmart versions of him."or Tarjei is helplessly in love with Henrik and they meet again three years post-skam when he's single again.ON SCHOOL HIATUS | Chapter five in progress





	1. tell me pretty lies, look me in the face

**Author's Note:**

> "Tarjei looks at Henrik like he hung the moon" and thus began a series of texts between Alyce and I about what would happen if Tarjei and Henrik met again three years after Skam. We built this universe together so this is for her.
> 
> I do not own, know or have any contact with these characters. This is purely fictional and for fandom satisfaction only. I mean no disrespect to any of the people mentioned in this fic, I just think they're cute.

 

 

###  PROLOGUE  
  
TELL ME PRETTY LIES, LOOK ME IN THE FACE

_I have hella feelings for you,  
I act like I don't fucking care,  
Like they ain't even there_

He doesn’t think much of it at first. It’s just a stupid crush. Henrik is attractive and definitely Tarjei’s type but that’s all there is to it, just a gay boy crushing on his straight co-star.

It builds up slowly, slow enough for him to brush it under the carpet and blame it on the fact that he spends about thirty hours a week making out with Henrik. For work. Tarjei keeps it purely professional.

Until he’s home. Only in the darkness of his bedroom, with a hand down his sweatpants, does he let himself be a loittle unprofessional. Eyes closed and door locked, he thinks of Henrik’s hands down his chest, lips on his neck. He remembers the scene from earlier, how hard he had to focus not to get lost in the moment. Tarjei gets lost now, lost in his fantasy and when he tips over the edge, it’s with Henrik’s name on his lips.

It’s just a crush, even when they’re in Marlon’s room and Henrik’s sat on the floor explaining what a chemical equilibrium is (which he somehow remembers two years post-graduation). Tarjei’s definitely not listening to the conversation and maybe he finds himself staring at the way Henrik chews on his pen, but it’s fine. Everything is perfectly under control.

He tries to ignore the fact that Henrik is constantly at the back of his mind or that his bedroom begins to fill up with items that he takes from him on set. It gets cold when they’re filming late and Henrik’s always wearing way too many layers, always offers one of them to Tarjei. They’re too big for him, sleeves covering his hands and hood going over his eyes but he likes it. He mostly wears the hoodies to bed, Henrik’s cologne comforting and familiar as he falls asleep.

It’s just a crush.

 

______________________

 

It’s not just a crush.

He finds himself in Isak, blurring the line between what’s real and what’s not. This feels real to him. The man in front of him, with his deep blue eyes and his messy hair, he’s real and he’s beautiful and Tarjei feels it all the way down to his toes. He doesn’t exactly know when it happened or how he lost control, let it become something bigger than him, but there’s no going back now.

They’ve been filming all day, just them in a hotel bed, inches from one another when the realness of it all hits Tarjei in the face. He’s safe. In Henrik’s arms, with his fingers in his hair, he feels safe and he never wants to leave this bed.

They film the dialogue first, keeping the make out scene for the end. He’d almost forgotten about that. Julie asks for raw, she wants lips down his chest, she wants sexy and that’s easy. He doesn’t have to act like he wants Henrik because he needs him. Desperately. What’s hard is remembering that it’s not real, that this is Even touching Isak.  
  
He somehow manages not to get hard, even with Henrik’s lips so close to the waistband of his jeans and heads straight home once they’re done filming. It’s late, a little dark, and Henrik says something about going out for drinks but Tarjei isn't old enough nor is he in any shape to go anywhere with him. So he goes home and shuts his phone off, thankful that they won’t have to film for the next couple of days so he can try to get his shit together.

He doesn’t leave the house for three days, spends most of his time playing video games and writing. Writing helps him clear his mind. His phone’s dead under a pile of clothes somewhere and he can’t be bothered to find it. It feels nice to disconnect a little.

He skips school on monday, hoping for one last day of freedom, but Marlon shows up at the door around noon. He’s got a six pack of beer so Tarjei lets him in, thankful that his parents are at work all day.

“Did you lose your phone or something man? David and I tried to text you all day yesterday.”

“I forgot to charge it”

“You missed a sick party, Sacha tried to hook up with this twenty-something girl and she was just not having it. It was hilarious.”

Marlon opens a beer as he starts on a very detailed summary of what Tarjei missed the night before. He’s thankful for the distraction, lets himself fully relax for the first time in days. It feels good and for a moment, Tarjei almost forgets about Henrik.

Almost.

They’re on their third game of fifa, four beers down when the room goes quiet and Marlon glances over at him.

“You like him don’t you?”

Tarjei lets out a breath because, of course he knows, he’s never been very subtle about anything.

“I feel like such a cliché. It’s so stupid. It’s like when you’re eight and you think you’re in love with the girl who sits next to you because she let you use her nice markers. It’s his job to like me, he probably goes home and talks shit about how bad of a kisser i am”

“First of all, I’m sure he doesn’t talk shit about you” Marlon says, fishing out a blunt and a lighter out of his pocket. “Second of all, you can’t choose who you fall in love with. Remember that time in ungdomsskole? When I was in love with our English teacher?”

Tarjei laughs loudly at that and takes the first hit, head tilted back as he blows out the smoke. “You’re an idiot”

“Made you laugh though, didn’t I?”

 

______________________

 

This feels familiar, they’ve filmed this exact scene so many times except today the bottles aren’t filled with water. There’s so many drinks and Tarjei’s not sure how they’re going to make it to the actual party later.

But he likes this, likes being surrounded by the people he cares most about and just chilling. It’s nice and there’s no one Tarjei would rather spend his birthday with. Well, maybe there’s someone.

“Where’s Henrik?”

“We didn’t invite him.” David says, handing him another beer. “It’s your birthday, no moping around over him”

“I’m not moping!”

“Ya okay” Marlon walks out of the kitchen with a box of pizza, rolling his eyes. “You need to fuck someone and just get him out of your head, for like a night. Just one night at least. That’s not ridiculous”

Maybe they’re right. Maybe what he needs to get over Henrik is just to get with someone different. He agrees to it, kindly declines when Carl volunteers to be the one he hooks up with. If he’s gonna get over a castmate, he probably shouldn’t hook up with another one.

They all pile up into a cab and Tarjei’s already buzzed, his body feeling a lot lighter and his confidence through the roof. He’s gonna do this. He’s gonna pick up someone and get Henrik out of his head.

It doesn’t take too long for him to find someone. After two rounds of shots he finds himself dancing with a tall blond, blue eyes and he’s thankful that his friends don’t comment on the fact that he looks a little bit like Henrik. Just a little.

He has a type.

The guy, Tarjei doesn’t know his name and doesn’t care to ask, is grinding up against him when Henrik walks in. His hair is messy and he’s wearing the denim shirt that Tarjei loves so much. The guy’s lips are on his neck and Tarjei feigns a groan, eyes on Henrik. That’s when he sees her.

Lea.

Tarjei doesn’t mind her, she’s a nice girl and she’s been friends with Marlon for so long but he minds her with him. He minds the way he looks at her like she’s magic, like he would give his life for her.

His mind spins a little out of control. Too much alcohol, too many feelings he doesn’t want to have and suddenly he’s pushing the guy off of him because fuck that. He’s not Henrik, he’s never gonna be and Tarjei doesn’t wanna deal with that. The guy looks pissed and Marlon is at his side almost instantly.

“You okay?”

Tarjei takes Marlon’s shot out of his hand and tosses it back, glancing over at Henrik who’s got his arm around Lea, smile brighter than the sun.

He wants him. He can’t have him.

He sits alone at the bar with his beer but he’s not moping. Okay, maybe he’s moping a little but it’s his birthday and he’s allowed to do whatever he wants.

Two beers later, he feels a familiar hand on his back. Warm and heavy, safe is the first word that comes to mind. He doesn’t have to look to know who it belongs to.

“Halla birthday booooy”

“Haaaaallaaaa”

It’s weak.

He's pretty sure Henrik can tell he's not his usual cheerful self but before he can ask what's wrong, David's at his side switching his beer for a glass of water. They're being overprotective, overbearing even and Tarjei pouts.

"Neeeeei! Give it back"

"I think you've had enough for tonight"

He hears David say something to Henrik. It sounds like I got this, but it's not loud enough for him to decipher. Henrik walks away with one last pat of his back and Tarjei glances over with a little whine.

He wants another drink, he wants to forget Henrik's name and the way he makes him feel. He takes a sip of water, with David's encouragements, but his heart hurts and he definitely doesn't want to party anymore.

They end up leaving early. The guys don't let him say goodbye to Henrik and maybe that’s for the best. Instead, they take him back to Marlon’s place and spend the rest of the night smoking.

It’s maybe 4 in the morning and he can’t sleep. Everyone else is passed out, the room quiet safe from Sacha’s snoring and Tarjei’s still feeling a little hazy.

He’s gonna regret it in the morning, all of his senses tell him so, but he’s too far gone to care anymore. He pulls up the Jodel app on his phone, takes a messy selfie and off it goes. Into the world for everyone to see.

The last thing on his mind when he finally falls asleep is Henrik’s face, comforting and close like the way he wishes it was.

 

______________________

 

Tarjei wakes up with a headache and an uneasy feeling about last night. Vague memories of a guy who looked like a cheap version of Henrik and heartbreak. That’s the feeling. Heartbreak. First day of being eighteen and there’s a hole in his chest the size of grand canyon.

He leaves for set a little early, doesn’t want to wait for the guys to wake up and frankly, he needs to be alone for a bit. Simmer with these feelings and throw himself into Isak, forget about Tarjei for as long as he can.

He’s expecting to have the yard to himself but Henrik's already there, two iced coffees in hand. Tarjei’s heart skips a beat, butterflies in his stomach. He loves him.

So much for simmering his feelings.

"Halla!" Henrik smiles, glowing. "I stopped by the shop before, thought you might need it after last night”

“Tusen takk” He doesn’t know what else to say and takes a slow slip instead. Little bit of vanilla and almond milk, exactly how he likes it. He looks up at Henrik from under his sunglasses and considers commenting on it but he doesn't get a chance.

"So you're looking for a girlfriend huh?"

Tarjei coughs and blinks at him a little, he's not quite sure where or what Henrik is talking about and he's taken back by the question. It's a little blunt and Henrik seems to pick up on his confusion.

"Jodel? Fans posted your confession on twitter"

Tarjei goes red and looks down to his shoes, chews on the straw a little. He’d forgotten about that.

"I'll help you find a nice girl. Lea has hot friends"

"Kjaereste" Henrik raises his eyebrow at him, so he continues. "It didn't say girlfriend, it said kjaereste. No specifics."

There's a silence, Henrik says oh under his breath. "Lea has hot guy friends too. So do I"

From afar, Tarjei can see Marlon and Sacha are walking over to the set and he wishes they’d walk faster, stop this conversation before it gets too far. He doesn't want Henrik to help him find someone, he just wants /him/.

"What's your type?"

You, he thinks. He doesn’t have to think too long for an answer because the boys come up to them and change the subject. Marlon slings his arm around his shoulders and glances at him with a worried look. Tarjei smiles at him.

He’s fine. He’ll get over it.

 

______________________

 

Every weekend is the same. Henrik takes him on double dates with a bunch of his friends and Tarjei goes along with it, thinks maybe it’ll help him get over his feelings.

It doesn’t.

He mostly just spends the night sitting at the table and pretending to be interested in whatever the man of the night is talking about. He’s an actor, it’s not too hard for him to pretend.

What’s hard is watching Henrik with Lea. Watching his eyes light up when he’s looking at her or his hand grazing her bare shoulder. He wants to be loved like this, wants to feel wanted.

He’s met around seven guys by the time he finally finds the courage to tell Henrik he needs to stop. He can’t take it anymore.

“Can we chill on the dates?”

“I thought you said you wanted to find someone?” Henrik looks at him confused.

“It’s just not working, it’s fine” His voice is a little shaky and he tries to steady himself.

“Come on, you’ve met so many guys. There has to be SOMEONE you clicked with”

"Nei, I huh. I already like someone" He regrets those words as soon as they come out of his mouth because Henrik sits closer to him, Tarjei can feel his breath on his face.

"Do I know him?” Henrik looks like a kid on christmas, his eyes crinkling at the sides from his smile.

Tarjei stares at him jaw slacked and he watches as Henrik's gaze travels from his mouth to his eyes, back down to his mouth.

There’s a silence and he can see him slowly piecing everything together. Henrik must be replaying the timeline in his head, trying to make sense of it all.

Tarjei wants to sink into the ground and disappear forever.

"I'd prefer if we never spoke about this ever again"

So they don't.

Henrik tries to reach out a couple of times, invites him to parties or dinner but Tarjei doesn't answer. He's already embarrassed himself enough to last centuries and he doesn't need to spend more time with Henrik then he has to.

They only see each other at work and eventually their relationship fades into nothing. He doesn't let himself think of Henrik, stores the pictures on his phone into a folder in his computer so he doesn't have to look at them every day.

There are dreams, sometimes. Those he can't control and he finds himself waking up with watery eyes and his heart in his throat but they become rarer, more sparse.

The feelings are still there but he's able to push them far enough down Henrik becomes a distant thought, almost like a figment of his imagination.

Two strangers, worlds apart.

 

______________________

 

Tarjei decides not to go to the cast party. He's already given everyone his goodbyes and if he's being completely honest he doesn't think he should be around Henrik when alcohol is involved. Or anytime really but especially then.

He's sad anyways and crying in public if it's not for work is not something he particularly enjoys. It’s moments like these that he’s happy he doesn’t have social media. He’d definitely be looking at everyone’s stories if he did.

He’s in bed reading the script to a new project he’s about to start working on when his phone vibrates next to him.

Should’ve turned it off.

 **MARLON LANGELAND**  
[[photo](https://68.media.tumblr.com/a5880a2bbf077b128d5a3b1b86f909b3/tumblr_inline_orijfp1TWr1uzz4y6_540.png)]  
[[photo](https://68.media.tumblr.com/0322a3cdd16052db5eab8dd4cbbd0d69/tumblr_inline_orijftId5F1uzz4y6_540.png)]  
Henrik just left so you can stop by now

 **TARJEI**  
that hat is hideous

 **MARLON**  
cool. so that means you're on your way?

 **TARJEI**  
ja, whatever

 **MARLON**  
there's a lot of beer

 **TARJEI**  
[*cheetah running gif*](https://68.media.tumblr.com/98e6b0caa464764f9b8feea828285e9c/tumblr_inline_orijfnkGGc1uzz4y6_540.gif)

 

______________________

 

Tarjei is almost thankful when Skam ends. He finally gets to turn the page on this chapter of his life and focus on other projects.

He takes on a lot of them. The busier he is, the better he feels. If he’s got so many things to think about, there’s no space for heartbreak. He keeps himself busy, juggling his time between school and acting jobs but he never gives himself time to heal. There’s still a hole in his chest, keeping him awake at night, but he doesn’t want to acknowledge it.

Last he hears of Henrik is before he moves to Denmark. He invites the whole cast to a goodbye party at his place and promises an evening full of beer and good food. Everyone’s gonna be there, a reunion of the skam family and the group conversation on facebook is blowing up his phone. Tarjei removes himself from the chat, removes himself from the event and closes his laptop.

He gets a text on the night of the party.

 **HENRIK**  
Come by tonight. Please?  
Miss you x

He doesn't go.


	2. bright like the sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a little shorter than the first one but it is a build up towards what comes next. 
> 
> There's a couple Norsk expressions throughout the whole chapter which you can find the translation for at the bottom notes!

 

 

###  CHAPTER ONE  
  
BRIGHT LIKE THE SUN

 

"You can't keep having things with guys because they look like him"

Tarjei glances over at David, tossing him a beer. “I am not!”

"Don't lie to me, we live together. I see the guys you bring home."

Marlon snickers from the other side of the table and Tarjei glares at him. It’s been three years now and they somehow still find a way to get under his skin.

It’s been the same every other friday night since David and him moved in together after graduation. They have a couple of beers, usually only the three of them before going out. More often than not, Tarjei comes back with someone and lets them spend the night.

It’s not that he actively seeks out guys who look like Henrik, it just happens. He has a type.

“I like blondes”

“I’m a blonde” David grins at him playfully and Tarjei groans.

“Fakk deg”

 

______________

 

Today’s gonna be a day.

He’s tried on about four different suits and has rewritten his speech multiple times. He’s not nervous about the awards but he’d rather channel his energy into that than let himself think about what’s actually on his mind.

Henrik.

He’s over him but they’re nominated in the same category and just the thought of seeing him again raises his heart rate. He’s thought about how this would go down so many times, has come up with multiple scenarios in his head but he doesn’t actually know what he’s going to say to him. Three years of silence and it finally ends tonight.

He runs into him at the after party. Quite literally. He’s walking into the room, eyes on his phone, when he collides with someone.

“Oi faen”

Tall blond in a nice grey suit. Tarjei doesn’t even need him to turn around to know it’s him, he would recognize that stature anywhere.

He gets the wind knocked out of him when he turns around and suddenly he’s eighteen again. His mind blanks a little and everything he wants to say goes out the window. Henrik grins when he realizes it’s him.

Bright, like the sun.

“Tarjei!!” He gets pulled into a hug and melts into the embrace a little, shivers up his spine when Henrik whispers right by his ear. “Congrats on your win.”

When they pull away, Tarjei can’t keep his eyes off of him, completely taken aback. Had Henrik’s jaw always been this defined? Had his eyes always been this blue? Tarjei doesn’t know what to do with himself but he thinks maybe he should say something back.

“Takk. Sorry it had to be against you though.”

“Don’t apologize. It’s well deserved.”

Another grin. His stomach flips.

“Can I buy you a drink?”

“It’s open bar” Tarjei says, a playful smile on his face.

“Hold Kjeft”

Henrik is already walking towards the bar so it’s not like he has a choice. He follows behind him, a sense of dejà vu rippling over him.

Tarjei remembers the last time they were here, the buzz from the alcohol and how brave he’d felt. Clinging to Henrik on the carpet and kissing him for the cameras. He remembers the texture of Henrik’s suit under his fingers and the way he’d dealt with most of the interviews for both of them.

Five beers down and Tarjei’s really feeling it. His cheeks are red, face a little hot from the alcohol. Henrik tells him about Denmark and his enthusiasm is heartwarming. Tarjei can tell how passionate he is about this and how much he’s learned through that trip.

He’s missed him.

He’s missed seeing him smile and hearing his laugh, he’s missed just talking to him about everything and nothing. Even now, just sitting and drinking without having to say a word. It feels comfortable.

“Remember the last gullruten? When I kissed you?” The words come out of his mouth before he can stop them.

“I kissed you first.” Henrik states matter-of-factly.

Tarjei's face becomes more flushed, if that's even possible, and he looks down to where Henrik’s knees are touching his under the bar. His body feels like it’s on fire and when he looks back up, Henrik’s eyes meet his. His heart is beating so fast it feels like it might burst.

This feels exactly like the first time they’d met in that audition room. Tarjei had seen him waiting with the rest of the guys auditioning and had instantly been drawn to him. Their eyes had met for a brief second, Henrik’s deep blue eyes and radiant smile making him weak in the knees.

Fuck that natural connection. Tarjei stood no chance against it.

"I wanted it to be real. It felt real."

Tarjei blinks at him, not sure how to respond.

"It was for me.” Tarjei’s voice is a little shaky at that, memories rushing through his mind. The way Henrik had reached back to him so fast and how he’d slipped his tongue into his open mouth. He’d replayed that night in his head so many times but he’d never thought it’d meant more for Henrik.

Henrik’s licking at his bottom lip as he watches him and Tarjei raises his eyebrow at him.

“I was kind of hoping someone would ask us to make out, like old times”

“Hæ?”

Henrik moves closer, hand on his knee now and Tarjei looks down for a second before looking back at him. His face is close and it’d be so easy for Tarjei to just lean in and kiss him right now. God knows he wants to.

“We’ve been drinking”

He’s still too close and Tarjei pulls back a little, giving himself a better chance to stand by his decision. He’s not gonna do this now. His judgement’s clouded and he knows letting Henrik in this easy would be a mistake.

It’s been three years, he’s over him.

Maybe.

Henrik looks a little defeated but he nods anyways the hand on his knee rubbing gently. Tarjei has to get out of here.

“Call me if you still want this when you’re sober”

He doesn’t give Henrik the chance to answer and gets up, slipping away from the room as fast as he possibly can.

 

______________

 

 **NEW TEXT FROM HENRIK**  
I’m sober.  
Wanna come have a coffee with me?

 **TARJEI**  
Serr?

 **HENRIK**  
Ja

“Why are you smiling at your phone?”

Tarjei looks up at David who’s staring at him suspiciously from across the dining room table. He hadn’t even noticed he was smiling.

“Funny meme” He says, unconvincing.

David walks over the table to sit at the chair next to him, eyebrow raised.

“Can I see?”

Fucking David. He can tell he’s not about to give up so Tarjei decides to just tell him. Ready to deal with the consequences of it.

“It’s Henrik.”

David coughs, visibly surprised by his answer. Tarjei can’t tell if it’s the Henrik part that surprises him the most or the fact that he was honest in his response.

“Excuse me?”

So it was the Henrik part.

“Henrik. I saw him at Gullrutten last night.” Tarjei smiles a little to himself. “He wants to go for coffee”

David looks worried. He’d been there throughout the years, a shoulder for him to cry on when he was at his lowest, so he understands the concern. But he’s fine. Really.

“It’s just coffee”

“You spent years trying to get over him and now you’re just gonna let him back into your life this easy?” David sounds exasperated and rolls his eyes at him.

“He’s single now”

David groans at him, tossing a crumpled up napkin at his head.

“That doesn’t mean he won’t hurt you again Tarjei”

“I know what I’m doing”

He doesn’t, he has absolutely no clue what he’s doing but it’s exhilarating. He always throws rational out the window when it comes to Henrik.

 **TARJEI**  
Make it dinner and I’m there.

 **HENRIK**  
Er en date.

______________

 

They meet at a restaurant near Tarjei’s apartment so he decides to walk there, enjoying these few minutes of being alone to regroup his thoughts.

He’s not expecting anything from meeting with Henrik, tries not to get ahead of himself again. He was in deep last time and he refuses to willingly set himself up for heartbreak.

He’s already there when Tarjei gets to the restaurant, sitting at a table on the outdoor terrace, reading over the menu. His hair isn’t styled, messy and falling over his forehead a little, the way Tarjei likes it. He’s wearing way too many layers for how warm it is outside but it suits him. Everything suits him.

“Hei”

Henrik looks up at him and grins, his eyes crinkling by his sunglasses.

“Halla.”

He takes off the glasses as Tarjei sits down, holding his hair back with them.

It’s weird at first, takes them a little bit of time to get more comfortable with each other. Yesterday had been easier, the alcohol coursing through their veins and making them more relaxed.

Once they order their food and get past the awkwardness, the conversation flows again.

“I saw that last movie you were in.” Henrik says with a grin. “Du var utrolig. I was so impressed by your performance.”

Tarjei smiles proudly.

“Takk, it was probably one of the most challenging project I’ve worked on.”

“Yeah?”

“The character is so far off from who I am as a person you know? I wanted it to be believable so I really had to do a lot of research and let myself become him in a sense. After we were done shooting, David and I went up to Bergen so I could get back to myself.”

He’d be lying if he hadn’t thought about sharing that with him throughout the years, staring at his phone but never actually picking it up to call.

“I did that after Skam, when I moved to Denmark”

Tarjei frowns a little at that, looking down to his plate and Henrik seems to pick up on his change of mood.

“Oh. No not because I needed to get away from Even.” Henrik’s voice is soft and his hand picks up his gently. “Tarjei look at me”

Tarjei looks up to meet Henrik’s gaze, earnest and gentle.

“I didn’t move because of you. I moved because I was confused about how I felt about you when I had a girlfriend.”

“How did you feel?”

“Scared? Because I was in love with someone else then and I clicked with you so easily, I didn’t know if what I was feeling was just an extension of playing Even for so long or actually me.” Henrik takes a deep breath. “So I moved to Denmark to explore new roles and figure myself out”

“And what did you figure out about yourself?” Tarjei is curious now, wants to know everything.

“That I could move to the other side of the world if I wanted but I’d always come back to you”

Well shit.

Tarjei freezes, electricity jolting across his entire body. He’d wanted to hear Henrik say that for years. His heart is going to beat out of his chest.

Maybe he’s not as over him as he likes to tell David he is.

“I’m sorry it took so long for us to start talking again.” Henrik says quietly as he salts his plate. “I didn’t know where to start”

“It’s not your fault though” Tarjei waits for Henrik to look at him before he continues. “I was selfish. I didn’t wanna be around you if I couldn’t have you.”

Henrik lets out a breath, keeping his eyes locked on his.

"Is that how you feel about it?"

Tarjei shrugs, obviously not sure after all this time.

"I thought I could be projecting? And it wasn't fair to be around you when I felt how I did, and you didn't."

With the way they’d left things off three years ago, it feels nice to finally talk about it openly. Tarjei had imagined this conversation many times before but it was never as comfortable as this felt now. Their natural connection is still there, the soft smiles and the constant red on Tarjei’s cheek. He’s happy that even after all these years, they can come back to each other naturally.

“I thought it was so obvious back then, David knew and wanted me to tell you despite… y’know”

Henrik laughs at that and it’s like music to his ears. Tarjei thinks of all the things he’s missed about him, he’s missed that the most.

“Faen, you let me take you on all those dates.”

“I tried to get out of them!!!” Tarjei shakes his head a little, a smile on his face. Henrik had been so insistent and eager to find him someone.

“I think I might have one last guy i wanna try to set you up with”

Tarjei stops breathing for a second.

“If it’s not you, i’m not interested”

Henrik grins widely. “Det meg”

He’s about to say something when his phone buzzes on the table, screen lighting up.

 **NEW TEXT FROM DAVID**  
You better sleep at home tonight  
Jeg ser på deg

Tarjei smiles at that, turning his phone over to get back to the conversation.

It feels right. Just sitting here with Henrik and talking about life. Tarjei thinks maybe this is how it was supposed to be from the start, that the three year split was necessary for them to find themselves before they could fall back into each other.

He’s definitely not over him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the translation for the Norsk sentences:
> 
> \- Fakk deg / Fuck you  
> \- Oi faen / Oh fuck  
> \- Hold kejft / Shut up  
> \- Hæ? / Huh?  
> \- Serr? / Seriously?  
> \- Er en date / It's a date  
> \- Du var utrolig / You were incredible  
> \- Det meg / It's me  
> \- Jeg ser på deg / I'm watching you


	3. I see my future in your eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we goooo. things happen in this chapter, sexy things, hope you like it. 
> 
> All mistakes are mine, it's late.

 

###  CHAPTER TWO  
  
I SEE MY FUTURE IN YOUR EYES

 

 **HENRIK**  
Wanna have dinner with meg?

 **TARJEI**  
Can’t :( I have a script to learn.

He’s on the couch surrounded by pages of scripts and highlighters when the doorbell rings. David’s already on his way out so he opens the door for whoever is there. Tarjei is focused on his work, not bothering to look over to see who’s there.

“Can I leave you two together or do you need a chaperone?”

He looks up then and that’s when he sees Henrik. He’s wearing a jacket that’s too big for him, big enough for him to wear multiple layers under it and his hair is down again. Tarjei can’t help but think it might be for him, he’d once told Henrik a couple years back that he liked it better when his hair wasn’t styled. He smiles at him, lighting up the entire room.

He still hasn’t moved from the couch when David leaves, yelling “Make good decisions” on his way out the door. Tarjei rolls his eyes a little but when Henrik laughs, a swarm of butterflies invade his stomach.

Henrik walks up to where he’s sitting on the couch, holding up a large bag of chinese food.

“Thought maybe you could use a break from work?”

“You thought right”

Tarjei brings all of the pages together and setting the script on the coffee table, making space for Henrik to sit with him. He’s sitting in the corner of the couch, leaning against the armrest and Henrik sits close, close enough for their shoulders to touch. It’s comfortable, familiar almost.

Tarjei reaches for one of the boxes, digging in almost instantly, he hadn’t realized how hungry he was.

“What are you working on?”

“Shcript for a new tv show” He says, mouth full of noodles. “We’re filming a test pilot”

Henrik reaches into his box, stealing a bite and listens with a smile as Tarjei explains the concept of the show. The conversation flows well between them, it always has, and Tarjei has a permanent grin plastered on his face. He’s missed talking Henrik.

More than his hands or the smell of his cologne, the soothing sound of his voice is what he’s missed the most.

There’s a lull in the conversation but it doesn’t feel awkward or like it needs to be filled. It’s comfortable, he lets himself lean back into the couch a little bit. He can feel the tension in the air, knows something is about to happen but this feels right. He sneaks a couple of glances at Henrik, blushing when he gets caught.

Henrik puts his hand on his cheek, turning his face towards him and Tarjei stops breathing for a second. He’s close, their noses almost touching. They’ve been this close before but this feels different.

This is real.

Henrik’s eyebrows are raised in a question and Tarjei nods, just once.

He’s not sure who makes the first move but suddenly they’re kissing and fireworks set off in Tarjei’s stomach. It’s chaste at first, just feeling it out and Henrik’s thumb stroking his cheek gently.

Tarjei is the one who deepens the kiss first, taking control. When he was playing Isak, he always had to hold back, had to be focused and play the inexperienced kid but this is real now. It’s not acting and he can finally kiss Henrik how he’s always wanted.

He slides down onto the couch, pulling Henrik on top of him. Hands fisted in his shirt and tongues sliding against each others, this is how it was always supposed to be. Tarjei groans a little when Henrik’s hands find his hips, gripping onto him.

The kiss is heated, both of them chasing after something and wanting to be closer than humanly possible. Tarjei moves one of his hands from Henrik’s shirt to slide into his hair, pulling gently. He hears Henrik breathe out his name in between kisses and tugs a little harder. He wants to learn everything that turns Henrik on, wants to know where to touch and what to say.

But not yet.

He doesn’t want to let this go too far, needs to set ground rules for them but he wants this so bad, he’s willing to forget for a minute.

Tarjei pulls back, breathless, and Henrik’s lips go straight to his jaw.

“Henrik, wait…”

Henrik looks up at him, face still pressed against his skin. His lips are red, eyes dark and it might just be the most beautiful thing Tarjei’s ever seen.

"Sit up we can't talk when you're lying on top of me.”

Henrik grinds down on him, eliciting a moan from Tarjei and he smirks, eyebrow raised.

“I know you want this”

Tarjei is flushed and hot but he stands by what he’s saying.

“Nei stop, this is important”

Tarjei lifts his knee up and pushes Henrik away with his foot on his chest.

“Sit over there. Just for like a minute.”

"Serr?" Henrik is just staring at him in disbelief.

"Ja, serr."

Henrik must see how serious he is because he sits back on his knees but Tarjei keeps his foot on his chest, pushing just slightly. Henrik sits all the way to the other corner of the couch with a sigh.  
“This far enough for you?”

"What are your intentions here?”

Henrik blinks at him and Tarjei realizes that might have been a little blunt. He needs to know.

"You sound like a dad meeting his daughter's boyfriend for the first time.”

"This isn't a joke Hen,” Tarjei pulls his knees to his chest, resting his chin on them. "You can either have this conversation with me or I'm sure David can play that role very well.”

Henrik is frowning now, playing with a piece of fabric that’s fraying from the couch.

“You don’t trust me” the words barely come out of Henrik’s mouth and Tarjei feels his heart break.

“I don’t trust myself”

Tarjei bites on his bottom lip, meeting Henrik’s gaze. He looks upset but if this is going to work, they need to be honest with each other.

“After Skam, the whole year after the last episode, I was in a really bad place. Getting drunk until I couldn’t feel anymore and hooking up with people to numb the pain.”

“Did it work?” Henrik’s sitting a little closer now, watching him carefully.

"Sometimes. But never for long. It got easier.”

Tarjei feels a weight lifted off his shoulder. He’d spent years burying feelings deep down and finally opening up to Henrik felt like he was turning a page. Fresh new slate.

"I want to do this properly, and I want you to want it, too.” Henrik grabs Tarjei's hand and weaves their fingers together. ”I don't know what I can do to prove it to you, but I promise, I want this too. I missed you so much. I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to make this work.”

They're looking right into each other's eyes as Henrik says this and Tarjei's rubbing his thumb against Henrik's hand. This is better than all the scenarios he ever came up with over the years.

"I just want this to work.”

"We can't be sure that it will if you keep pushing me away"

Tarjei rolls his eyes at him.

“that's not what- ”

Henrik raises his eyebrows, giving his hand a small squeeze.

“Okay, okay du har rett.”

“I’m always right”

“Faen, shut up” Tarjei says with a laugh, pulling on his hand a little.

They find a comfortable position on the couch, Tarjei curled up into Henrik’s side with his head on his chest.

Tarjei feels at home like this, with Henrik’s fingers carding through his hair and feeling his chest rise with every breath.

“Do you wanna stay tonight?”

Henrik just presses his lips to his, gently.

“I’d love nothing more.”

________

When Tarjei wakes up the next morning, there’s just a little bit of light poking through his curtains, making the room glow softly. Henrik is already awake, fingers carding through his hair softly.

“God morgen”

Tarjei smiles, pressing his face against Henrik’s chest.

“Halla” his voice is rough, lower than usual.

“Sleep well?”

He looks up to find Henrik grinning at him and nods, shifting a little against his side. His knee grazes Henrik’s crotch accidently, eliciting a soft groan from him. Tarjei smirks at that, moving his leg so he brushes against him again, watching him.

Henrik looks down at him, eyes meeting for a brief second before he leans down to kiss him. It’s hungrier than last night, more desperate almost and the hand in his hair tightens a little. He can tell Henrik is used to being in control by the way he’s hovering over him and how his tongue licks at his lips to part but Henrik’s never been in bed with Tarjei. He untangles his legs from Henrik’s and straddles his hips, hands sliding under his shirt.

He hasn’t seen Henrik without a shirt in years so he takes his time after he removes it, sitting back so he can take it all in. Henrik’s been working out and his abs are definitely more defined than they were back then. Tarjei lets his fingers trace over them slightly and then his heart stops.

Right above Henrik’s left hip is a phrase in cursive. _Enjoy the journey_. Shit. That’s the hottest thing he’s ever seen. Tarjei wants to put his mouth on it.

He doesn’t realize he’s staring until Henrik squeezes his thighs a little.

“Like what you see?” he says, smirking.

“Faen, you’re so hot”

Tarjei leans over, hands on either side of Henrik’s head and kisses him with confidence. There’s a fire in him that rises quickly as they kiss. This is the feeling he’s been chasing after all these years, this is the kind of heat he knew no one could give him. He feels more alive than he ever has and he knows he’s going to get addicted to the taste of Henrik’s lips again.

Henrik pulls his head back a little in a soft moan and Tarjei’s lips trail down to his neck. Slowly, he makes his way down Henrik’s chest, biting and kissing at every bit of skin he finds on the way down. Henrik is breathing heavy under him and Tarjei looks up when he reaches the tattoo.

“Enjoy the journey” He reads out loud, licking over it slowly. “Oh I will.”

Henrik makes eye contact with him and looks like he’s about to say something but Tarjei mouths at his length over his boxers, turning whatever sentence he was about to say into a groan. He’s acting confident, showing off for Henrik, but inside he’s shaking. All these years of wet dreams and cheap lookalikes to finally have him there, in his bed.

He hooks his thumbs in the waistband of his boxers and pulls them down slowly, watching as Henrik’s cock springs free. Tarjei quickly wraps his hand around him, giving him a few steady strokes before looking up. He’s met by Henrik stare, eyes full of lust and mouth hanging slightly open.

“Please…” he says quietly and Tarjei happily obliges, taking him down without wasting any time.

This is something he can do confidently, knows he’s good from praises he’s gotten in dirty club bathrooms or in the back of someone’s car and he wants to make Henrik feel good.

He sucks him off expertly, using his hand at the base to twist and cover what he can’t reach. Henrik’s big, which isn’t surprising given the rest of his body, but he likes the weight of it on his tongue. He feels fingers card through his hair, cradling his head slightly.

“Faen Tarjei…” Henrik says, followed by a groan that makes Tarjei’s dick jump.

He looks up through his lashes and what he sees takes his breath away. Henrik’s eyes are closed, head tilted back and hips arched slightly. He’s got one hand in Tarjei’s hair and the other is gripping the sheets, knuckles going white.

Christ. He wants to be able to see this forever.

Tarjei tongues at his slit, hand jerking him slowly and the sound that comes out of Henrik’s mouth is heavenly. Tarjei shifts a little against the bed, pressing himself against the mattress to release pressure from his own cock. He’s painfully hard just from watching Henrik fall apart under him.

The hand in his hair tightens he hears Henrik’s breath get shallower, hips thrusting slightly into Tarjei’s open mouth. He can tell Henrik is close which makes him double in effort, he needs to see what he looks like when he comes.

“Faen yeah Tarjei. Like that…”

Tarjei cups Henrik’s balls with his hands and pulls back a little, a trail of spit going from his mouth to the head of Henrik’s cock. They eyes meet for a second before Henrik tilts his head back and moans his name, coming in hot spurts over Tarjei’s hand and his chest.

He’s breathless, body shaking slightly and Tarjei keeps stroking him lazily until it’s too much.

“Christ, Tarjei…” Henrik whimpers, trying to catch his breath.

He shoves his hand down his own boxers, still wet with Henrik’s cum and jerks himself off quickly. He knows it’s not going to take long, already on edge from rutting against the mattress.

“Come here so I can kiss you”

Tarjei looks up and moves a little so he’s pressed against Henrik’s side. The kiss is sloppy, lazy as the heat in Tarjei’s belly grows slowly but it feels amazing because it’s Henrik. He’s pretty sure he could just stand there and look at him that Tarjei would still come.

He grunts out his name when he does, biting down on Henrik’s lip. It’s messy, gets all over his hand and a little on the sheets too but it feels better than it has in months.

They kiss breathlessly until he comes down, a steady hand stroking his back gently.

“Is this how you wake up all of your guests?” Henrik says playfully.

“Only the ones I want to keep around”


	4. Keep You With Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaah, thank you for being so patient life got in the way of this. this one's a little short because a lot happens in the next chapter ;) hope you guys like it!

 

###  CHAPTER THREE  
  
KEEP YOU WITH ME

Tarjei slips out of bed before Henrik’s awake. It’s a bit of a workout to tangle himself out of his arms without waking him up but he manages to make it out without him even stirring. It’s a nice sight, Henrik sprawled out on his bed talking up all the space. His face is pressed into the pillow and his back rises softly with every breath he takes. This is all he’s ever wanted.

His stomach growls lightly and he reaches for his phone on the bedside table. A quarter past noon. They’d fallen asleep again after their morning hookup and neither of them had eaten anything since early last night. With one last look to Henrik, he heads to the kitchen to make some coffee.

He doesn’t bother putting on a shirt and jumps a little when he finds David sitting at the table with his laptop.

“Faen. Hi. You’re not working today?”

“Working from home. Did you have a good night?” David says with a smirk.

Tarjei turns his back to him, reaching into the cupboard for two cups. “Was fine. Yours?”

“Yeah. Henrik’s still here isn’t he?”

He pours the coffee slowly, dropping a cube of sugar into Henrik’s cup just the way he likes it. Tarjei takes a breath and turns around to face David, leaning against the counter.

“We had a very serious conversation last night. About like… where we want this to go and how I felt three years ago. I told him I was scared.”

“You did?” David closes his laptop and sits back on the chair a little.

“Mhm. I full on pushed him away during a makeout session so we could talk.”

“Shut up, I don’t believe you. You have zero willpower when it comes to Henrik.”

Tarjei rolls his eyes at him and puts two bagels into the toaster. He’s right, he tends to throw caution to the wind when it comes to Henrik but not this time.

“I’m serious. He said he left for Denmark to try and figure shit out. Like how he felt about me?” He takes a second to grab the bagels when they pop out, spreading jam all over them. “I think it was good for us to have that time apart because it helped us realize what we really wanted.”

“Tell him if he breaks your heart again I’m going to kick his ass.” David says with a smile.

Tarjei laughs at that, balancing the two cups of coffee and the plate of bagels in his arms.

“I will. We’ll talk more when he’s not sleeping two feet away.”

He grins as he walks past David and into his bedroom, pushing the door open with his back. When he turns around, Henrik’s still laying down on his stomach but he’s awake now, scrolling through messages on his phone. He turns his head when he hears Tarjei walk in and smiles. Fireworks explode in Tarjei’s stomach.

“Hello”

“Hi. I have food.” He says, setting the plate down on the bed and handing him a cup of coffee. Henrik sits up, leaning against the headboard to take a sip of coffee. Tarjei watches his throat as he swallows, the way his adam’s apple moves slowly and the deep red marks up the side of his neck. His lips were there just hours ago and he wants them on his skin again.

Tarjei climbs into bed with him, setting his coffee on the side table. “Do you have any plans for today?”

“No. Just planned on staying in bed with you until you kick me out.” Henrik says with a smile.

“I’m not gonna kick you out.” Tarjei reaches over for a piece of bagel, resting his head on Henrik’s shoulder.

Henrik’s free hand rests on his thigh, stroking softly with his thumb. Now that they’re together they can’t stop touching, they’ve missed everything about one another and Henrik’s touch feels comforting.

Like home.

There’s a part of him that wants to just lay there in silence and enjoy Henrik’s presence but so much has happened in the past three years that he doesn’t want to waste any opportunity to hear about everything he’s done while they weren’t talking. Starting with the tattoo.

Tarjei nuzzles his cheek against Henrik’s shoulder, softly and licks his lips. “What’s the story behind your tattoo?”

“Mmm?” Henrik bites into the bagel and raises an eyebrow at him.

“Is there a story behind it?” Tarjei asks, curious.

Henrik swallows, the hand on Tarjei’s thigh stroking gently. It’s a very light touch but electricity jolts throughout his body.

"It's a reminder in a sense? To remind me to be grateful for the life I have and enjoy the journey." Henrik smiles as he says that. "And I liked the double meaning."

"How many people have seen it?" Tarjei runs his finger over it slowly, he knows Henrik understands what he's really asking.

How many people have been close enough to read it, kiss it, trace it with their tongue? How many people have gotten the chance to be with Henrik during those past couple of years.

"Aside from a couple photographers and makeup artists? Just you."

Tarjei raises his head from Henrik's shoulder, blinking softly. "Serr?"

"Seriøs. I got it a little over a year ago? Haven't really been with anyone since then."

Tarjei nods. How the tables have turned. In the last year only, Tarjei’s been with a multitude of people, so many he’s stopped counting and the thought of Henrik being alone while he was filling a void left by him sends a chill up his spine.

Henrik’s always been at the back of his mind. At times so much that he’d almost call his name while in bed with someone else. He’s learned to live with it, catching himself before it leaves his lips.

Henrik flips to the next picture, one of him in a bathing suit where a bright pair of pink aviators. Tarjei lets out a laugh and points to the picture.

“What is /that/?”

“They’re sunglasses” he states, matter-of-factly.

“Faen,” Tarjei makes a face at him, scrunching his nose. “If you ever wear those in public with me I will pretend I don’t know you.”

“Harsh” Henrik says with a laugh.

Tarjei reaches over to flip to the next picture on his phone, looking up at Henrik. “Is this okay? I wanna see what you were up to during the last three years”

Henrik’s smile is warm and comforting. “Let’s do this. I’ll choose one picture and tell you the story that goes with it and then you’ll do the same yeah?”

Tarjei reaches over for his phone on the bedside table, knowing already which picture he wants to show Henrik. The hand on his thigh is still there, pressing slightly and a nice reminder that this is real and not a figment of Tarjei’s imagination.

He scrolls through the past year fast, finding the picture he’s looking for. Tarjei looks up only to find Henrik looking over his shoulder with a grin. He opens up the photo for him, a dark snapshot of him sitting in Marlon’s lap, beer in hand with David at the back.

“What’s the story behind that?”

“This was the New Year’s party from last january.” Tarjei smiles, blurred memories of that night flashing through his mind. “David and I started a tradition when we moved in together and we host New Year parties every year. We have everyone write a bad memory on a paper and we burn it in the backyard.”

“That sounds so fun.” Henrik chews on his lip. “Was I your bad memory the first year?”

“I wrote your name on the paper every year hoping it would help me let go.” He says softly, tapping his thumb on the side of his phone. “It didn’t work very well.”

There’s a silence between them so he continues. “I’m not saying this so you feel bad about it or anything. I just think we should be honest about everything.”

Henrik smiles warmly at him and Tarjei feels a wave a comfort take over him. This is what he’d been chasing after for years, the warmth in his chest that could only be reproduced by Henrik’s presence. There was something about him that put not just him, but everyone around, at ease. He’d missed it.

“I know.” Henrik finally says, using the hand on his thigh to reach over and lace their fingers together.

Tarjei sets his phone down to turn his attention on Henrik’s, a photo on the screen. It’s a picture of Henrik on top of a mountain, surrounded by trees. He looks small there, in comparison to the nature around him. It’s nice.

“I’ve become a big fan of hiking”

Tarjei makes a face at that and Henrik laughs out loud, voice echoing against the wall of his bedroom.

“You clearly are not” Henrik says playfully, squeezing his hand. “It helps me clear my mind. When you reach the top, the view really puts everything into perspective. The first year I moved to Denmark I went hiking almost every day. ”

“Were you trying to clear your mind from something specific?” Tarjei knows the answer but wants to hear him say it out loud.

When he looks up, Henrik is staring at him, almost like he’s waiting for him to look up.

“Part of me was hoping you’d find someone and be happy” Henrik takes a breath, his hold on his hand tightening. “But another part of me was hoping you wouldn’t.”

“You had a girlfriend.” Tarjei states, watching their hands laced together.

“Yeah. I broke up with her because it wasn’t fair of me to keep stringing her along if I had feelings for someone else.”

“Why did you take so long to come back?”

Henrik shrugs a little, licking at his bottom lip. “I guess I was scared maybe? Of what we could be.”

Tarjei nods, his head falling back on his shoulder. He’s about to say something when Henrik’s alarm goes off. He groans a little as he turns it off, kissing the top of Tarjei’s forehead.

“I should go. I have a photoshoot.”

Tarjei nods but doesn't move, looks up at Henrik and just leans in waiting to be kissed. Henrik seems to get the message because he cups his face with both of his hands and kisses him firmly.

"Call me" he says before kissing him again.

And then he's gone, leaving the bedroom door open and Tarjei falls back onto the pillows. His heart feels like it's going to beat out of his chest and the taste of Henrik's lips lingers on his. He closes his eyes, taking a deep breath and the smell of Henrik's cologne around the room makes his head spin.

He still loves him.


End file.
